Fiend of Dope Island
1961
The judges at the Schadenfruede Conclave had a difficult time judging whether “Fiend of Dope Island” was truly worthy to be a Schadenfreude film. And therein A Schadenfreuden Conclave Axiom # 772 is activated. #772 says that if any movie makes us worry, it is automatically Schadenfreuden for making us suffer. But don’t worry, we never bend the rules just for the rules sake, this movie also sucks rocks! Well, it actually sucks sand, and that sand’s gonna get everywhere!
Fiend of Dope Island is about this fiendish guy who lives on an Island that grows dope; now that’s the marijuana kind of dope, not Heroine dope or the dwarf known as Dopey( all three occur in Exploitation movies in the period). The guy who grows the weed is very fiendish. Oboy is he fiendish! His main weapon of Fiendiosity is a huge Bull whip, which he uses often and loudly. He terrorizes the island of stereotypes, who all cower before his white godliness. Then apparently a mail order beautiful floozie arrives. She seduces the island of stereotypes into worshipping her because she’s so white. . I mean pretty. It’s a bit gross how the film has the natives suck up to the floozie. We can’t condemn this film for simply carrying the beliefs of it’s time in it’s pocket, but good lord, someone should get yelled at!
Or maybe not. When considered in context, Fiend is not as bad, as in poorly made, as most of the movies on our list. The picture was made as a vehicle for Tania Velia, the Yugoslav Bombshell (the credits tells us), and she does her job pretty well, providing some quick shadowy boob flashes as well as dancing. And walking around in a swimsuit. And standing around in a swimsuit. And laying down in a swim suit. There’s also some pretty good violence, and the overall quality of the camera work, sound and even the script is above the usual Schadenfreuden standards. What makes this High quality crap is the simple fact that the movie keeps going on after the explosion.
We don’t like to reveal plot if we don’t have to. For most of these movies it’s just adding insult to injury, literally. But about 2/3 of the way through this film, there’s a huge explosion accompanied by jungle drums, which is the universal symbol for “this movie is almost over, for we have spent our budget on the huge conflagration you have just seen. Enjoy the flames!” And then. . .and then. . . the movie just keeps going. You can’t continue a movie after the big explosion! You can’t! When God made the first movie, he said “Let there be a big explosion, a little kissing, and then the credits.” It’s just wrong. Dead wrong.
After the explosions, the plot stalls as the characters all start to make ridiculous decisions seemingly just to continue the suffering, to prolong the agony of us sitting there. It was not until fifteen minutes after the explosion, did this film become a Schadenfruede movie. Even a repeated quick shot of Miss Tania’s ‘talents’ do not salve the frustration of the long slow death-rattle-ending of this movie. Shark enthusiasts will enjoy the last few scenes, though it is a long slog to that blessed place.
A special treat is the inclusion of Robert Bray, who played the Ranger in the classic TV series, “Lassie”. He is a manly hunk of flesh in this tropical picture, and I sure he enjoyed being able to do a little more than pet a pooch. And the bombshell Tania seemed appreciative of his handling skills! Go, dog! Go! Forgive the puns, Mr. Bray, ya did good!
Some fun stuff particular to this flick are:
That fast talking Fiend. He’s got good crazy!
Shark stock footage
Tania and her lai!
Classsic bad movie elements contained in this Flick
Stereotyped natives
Stock footage of parrots
Little mention of title element, “dope”
THE DRINKING GAME FOR “Girl in Trouble”
DRINK WHEN:
Every crack of the whip.
When you see the back of the doctor.
Whenever Tania does something nice for or to the natives
CHUG A WHOLE BEER WHEN:
Tania starts a dance
You see ‘dope”
IF ONE HAS TO WRITE A COLLEGE ESSAY FOR FILM CLASS
The fiend of Dope Island is an almost paradoxical satire of Stalinist politics as interpreted though Che Guevara’s writings of Political reality in South America. The fiend, Stalin, Lashes out continuously at the island inhabitants, demanding they do whatever he says. But the local politics will not bend to the will of the Fiend, for distance and nature herself, played by Tania Velia, will always rise against the tyrant. It is the Leninist dialectic itself which predicts the downfall of Stalinist era realpolitik.
SCHADEN FREUDEN SCORE
Elements: 5 (out of 10)
Titillation: 2 (out of 5)
Wrongness: 3 (out of 5)
Style & Funness: 3 (out of five)
Extra points: 2 (out of five)
TOTAL: 15 (out of 30 )
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